The benefits of having a virtual diary.

August 24, 2004 Someday I'm gonna go back to school. I know it shouldn't bother me because I've got a really great job that only improves the longer I'm there, but it really just irks me that I don't have a college degree. I loved school! I love learning, and I think that's why I hate not having that degree. But I made the choices I made because that was what was best for my family at the time. And in three years, I'm SO back to school!

I needed to see this today. The past couple of days have been not-so-stellar. Right now, I am killing time in between a major meltdown (thank GOD for girlfriends!) and picking up the kids from school. So, I decided to check out the bloggy place I had before I became Glamorous Redneck. And I started at my very first month of blogging. This is the entry I found. I can’t believe I really am doing this craziness! But, I somehow am. I am exhausted, on the brink of insanity, crazily overwhelmed, but I actually set my mind to something and achieved it. Granted, it wasn’t exactly three years from when I wrote that entry, but it was exactly when I was supposed to start.

So, this is what it’s like to have a goal and see the achievement of that goal not to far away in the distance? I think it’s almost better because I had forgotten that I made this goal for myself. I wanted to go back to school. I wanted to be a teacher. And now, I’m doing it.

Like I said, I needed to be reminded of this today.

Where in the world is Glamorous Redneck?

I can tell you where she's not. She's not on a nice, warm beach, the waves lulling her to sleep. Nope, she's still here in Podunk, finally over a stint of -22 degree weather and spending the day off school trying to get a jumpstart on homework for the week.

Other things that have gone on in Glamorous Redneck's life:

-November: A very dear friend lost her 16 year old daughter to a car accident. We are still trying to process and we are still hurting.

-December: I survived my first semester on campus. I may have even made a friend or two. I also made the Dean's List. Shocking, I know!

-January: Started what I thought was going to be a fairly simple Spring semester. Missed the first day of classes because of snow. Also missed my morning class last Thursday (which was the fourth day of classes) due to the fact that the warmest it got was -13. We have not been outside for more than two minutes in over a week. But, after having the few classes that I did have, I am now absolutely terrified of this semester. I wrote 22 papers the last week of classes last semester. I will not be a bit surprised if that number is doubled this semester. I will also be ringing in the birthday that marks my last year of 20's. Not entirely sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, I am excited because I think my 30^th birthday (which also happens to be my golden birthday) will be spectacular, but the whole notion of turning 30 scares the crap out of me.

So, that's what's been up with me. I have disappeared into the chaos of the Holidays, grieving, and being a college student. I'm still not entirely sold on stopping blogging all together, but it is getting difficult to carve out the time necessary for me to attempt to be witty and engaging here. Plus, I have to save all my wittiness and engaging-ness for the eleven thousand papers I have to write.

But the main reason I've come out of hiding today is to thank the one and only Big Sky Girl (Her linkie is over -à there. I'm using a program that hasn't quite shown me how to do linkies, so just click over there. Her awesomeness will astound you) for giving me this totally sweet Lemonade award. Especially since the title of her blog post is oh-so-funny. However, I won't nominate anyone else because a) the people that I would nominate have already received the award and b) 99% of the blogs that I've linked to on my side bar are no longer active. Which means I really need to get back out there and find some more totally awesome bloggers. Maybe somewhere around the year 2140.

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!

It occurred to me the other day that I am sort of like the middle child here at school. Too young to fit in with the real "Non-traditionals" and too old to fit in with the whipper-snappers that are more concerned with where their next party is than "am I going to be getting myself any financial aid AT ALL next year?" It's an odd feeling, this middle child thing. I'm the oldest. Everything goes my way. I get the hard stuff so that by the time the wee little babies come around, it's a cake walk. So I kind of feel like I'm floating around in-limbo most days. Don't get me wrong, it's certainly not a bad thing. Just kind of. . .odd.

On the plus side, though, I've yet to fall again! And I do believe I've made some. . .erm. . .let's call them acquaintences. I really do have some super nice people in my education classes. The other classes seem to be full of people with the mindset that they are but robots, simply moving through the system. They don't speak to anyone unless directly spoken to. Or if they do speak, it's hushed little giggly whispers to the girl sitting next to them they've known since kindergarten. It makes it a little difficult to try and have discussions on things like Pride and Prejudice (Hello! Most awesomest book. EVER!) and The Remains of the Day (eh, not so much. He talks in proper British circles so that I have to re-read paragraphs many times. However, today in class it was a little better, so there may be hope. Now that we're like HALFWAY into the semster.

Now, I must be off. I have a short story that I need to get written. Creative Writing has been an awesome class for me! I haven't done any writing of any kind other than analytical essays in a very long time. So it's fun to get my little fantasy world back!

Embarassing Moments

It occurred to me that in my rash of tiredness, I forgot to tell you about my stellar first day as a student here at the college. I had put much thought into my back-to-school clothes shopping, and had obtained several outfits that say "I'm older than you, but not so old that my pants get pulled up to my chest." but also said "Because I am older than you, I will not try and dress like you, but I will look cute, dammit!" and so I was ready to go!

On the first day of school, I got up right when my alarm went off (at 6:15! An hour that was non-existant to me prior to this), did everything that I needed to do and was running perfectly on time. I got to my first class a couple minutes late, but that was due to the fact that I had not calculated the time it takes to get from my car into the building in my travel time. But I was feeling pretty confident.

After my first class was over, I had (and still have) about two hours to kill between classes, so I headed down to the "commuter's lounge" to eat my lunch. I wasn't even uncomfortable with the fact that I would be dining alone and actually welcomed the chance to get a head start on my reading. But, I made the stupid mistake of trying to text and walk at the same time. As I went down the little flight of TWO WHOLE STEPS, I misjudged my footing and ended up tripping down the last one. I landed flat on my face and hit my head on a table and chairs on the way down. Yes. I am AWESOME! I shook it off, and fortunately for me and my fragile ego, there was only three or four people that saw it. I pretended like it didn't hurt and made the comment "that's what I get for trying to do two things at once" and then sat down. I ended up with a minor bump on the side of my head that hit the chair, and a busted fingernail.

Stellar start to my first day, right?

Like I said, I am OH-SO-AWESOME!

Another run-down

I am tired. Tired of the political ads that are every other commercial every time I want to watch TV. Tired of Feeling sorry for poor Sarah Palin because the poor girl doesn't have a chance against all these big-time (and at some times extremely hostile) media peoples. Tired of getting up at 6:00 every morning. Tired of seemingly everyone I know (yes, I'm including YOU in here too, Missy! :) ) going to San Diego and it looks like my planned trip is disappearing by the moment (THANK YOU, crappy economy. Thank you so much for saving me from getting away from the frozen tundra in January. Lord knows I would have been miserable parked on the beach whilst everyone here was in their winter coats. You have truly saved my life.)

But! I am getting really good grades in school. I'm not quite sure how to react to it all. I haven't seen a report card with only A's and B's since I was in 7th grade (this was before I hated running and anything else that involved sweating and so I would get A's in P.E.). If this keeps up, I just might make the Dean's list. And then, I will be treating myself to something big. Not sure what it is yet, but it's gonna be big.

So, anyway, the real reason I'm posting is because there is a cool website that is giving away FREE purses for 24 hours in a couple of weeks. I looked, they are gorgeous. And I have not bought myself a new purse in a very, very, long time. Unlike some other people *cough* BSG *cough*. Even though I would really like to win, I also think it would be fun to at least KNOW someone who won. So go to here and enter. Even if you happen to be a boy reading this (really, does anyone even bother here anymore? It's not like I'm posting with any sort of regularity), what better way to surprise your significant other than a handbag that looks like you spent beaucoup bucks on it. I'm not sure about YOUR ladyfriends, but I know in MY house, my significant other would be rewarded handsomely for getting me a purse. So, go enter. Right now. I'll maybe blog again in another month. Or twelve. Whatever.

I am tired.

The School Thing

So, BSG asked in the comments yesterday:

How much more school do you have left? Are you doing online?

Which means I actually have something to blog about today! As I'm looking at it now, if I work my butt off for the next two years, I should be able to get the actual school part done in that amount of time. Then I'd just have my student teaching to get out of the way. So, if I can do it I should be done in about two and a half to three years. But, it all depends on if I can handle going to school full time, working part time, and still taking care of my family without turning into Uber Bitch from Hades. It shouldn't be too terrible, because there's only one night a week where I'm not home right around the same time the kids are home, and that's only for one semester.

Once I get all the stupid generals I have to retake (8:00 classes should be illegal for College Freshmen because I don't know too many people who actually made it to that class. Which is why I'm redoing it now), the rest of the classes are going to be a cakewalk. I was going to go for Elementary Education, but after looking at the class list required for that and looking at the class list required for Secondary English Education, I realized that was where I needed to be. One of the classes I'm taking this semester is simply called Novel. There are eight seemingly awesome books that I have to read for that class, one of which is Pride and Prejudice. Books I've wanted to read, but have never really taken the time to do so. Further down the line are even more awesome classes like Shakespeare, Short Story, American Lit and countless other good ones.

I finally got into the syllabus for one of this semester's classes yesterday, and it made me a little nervous for what's to come. One of the assignments is a group presentation. What if I'm that girl sitting in the corner that no one wants in their group because they've all been together for the past two years and are all friends and WHO in their RIGHT MIND would want some old mom in their group? It totally feeds on old insecurities. What if nobody likes me? What if I suck at it all? What if, what if, what if?? It's ridiculous, I know, but I can't help but be a little afraid of what people will think of me. I've always had this inherent necessity for everyone to like me. And while it's gotten better, the feeling is still there, in the back of my mind, just waiting for an opportunity like this to rear its ugly head.

Do any of you ever feel like this? And if you do, how do you counter act it? I've been trying to remind myself that I'm not going to school to make friends, but it doesn't seem to quell the fear that I'll be THAT GIRL.

A Summary of Summer

Mostly I'm just tired of seeing the snow from a couple of posts down. Seems like eons ago that it was THAT cold. We've been running like crazy people. It's been fabulous. A few points:

Community Ed Baseball - Diva and CJ both had crappy baseball years. Their teams one one game each. CJ does a good job, it just wasn't their year. Diva's team, however, was. . .well. . .it was very obvious that they were very young. Diva had more fun being a cheerleader--weather she was on the field or off the field--than she did actually playing. They were very glad when it was over.

Family Vacation - I had high aspirations for the Stimulus check. We were going to get back home to San Diego. Then the crappy oil cartel had to go all insane and the hop in gas prices kept us close to home. But we still made it to Duluth, which is waaaay up at the top of this state and we are waaay down at the bottom of it. But it was gorgeous and I want to live there now. Don't know how I'd feel about the frigity of the winter (the city is on Lake Superior, so it gets way more snow than we do, courtesy of something called "lake effect snow"). We had tons of fun, and are most likely going to make going up north an annual trip.

School - We're done with our back to school supply shopping. For all three of us. Diva has the same teacher that CJ had in second grade, and CJ has his first male teacher. They are both very excited for school to start. As am I. For them. These children need to be in school because I am seriously on the brink of insanity here. I start school a week from today. Not entirely sure how I feel about that. Maybe if I decide to start blogging more than quarterly, I'll have more thoughts on it.

The Olympics - Are addicting this year. Courtney talked about how great the events have been. I wanted to give poor Alicia Sacramone a big hug after the balance beam incident of the team finals. And that Shawn Johnson is just too cute for words. When you hear her talk, she's just so gracious and sweet. It's nice to see that there are still people in the public eye that it's worth kids to look up to. And that Michael Phelps? Holy hannah! That guy is insane! And also sweet. I just got done reading an article on the NBC Olympics page about a friendship he forged with a kid that eventually succumbed to cancer. That takes a special person. On top of all the medals, to hear that he's like that just makes him even cooler.

Now, on to the important factor of the games. The US may not be winning the most gold medals, but am I the only one noticing that we have the BEST LOOKING athletes at the games? Hooo, damn! That Ryan Lochte is enough to send my little heart into palpitations. And the boys in their tight swimwear? Insanity, I tell you!

So, that's all I've got. Off to watch all the Olympics that I've DVR'd over the past couple of days. Because while these have been the best games we've seen in as long as I can remember, I am the only one in my house with any sort of interest in the games. So, I have to watch them at very strange times.